Q:Do you ever wish you went to stanford?
The thought has never crossed my mind. School rivalries entirely aside, I’m just so amazingly happy here. Granted that some of this may be ignorance that I don’t know what they have to offer, but Berkeley has been pretty freaking awesome for me.
behind the lens
The thing that’s been weirdest for me
Hasn’t been the distance
(emotional or physical)
It’s your profile picture
You aren’t facing the camera
You look down and to the left, but you’re glancing at the photographer
You are smiling.
And that’s fine.
(it makes me happy)
Your bowtie is tight and neat
Your shirt is pressed
Your sky (it seems like it should be yours after all) is blue
and the film’s grain and yellowness compliments your
It’s summer and
you are smiling.
I don’t think ghosts existed until online social networks
Those stories of paranormal activities
the poltergeists and hauntings of the past
because your loved ones can’t haunt you until they can really surprise you
not in photos on dusty mantles or mementos
but really surprise you
like showing up in san francisco
after you’ve left them in manhattan
after you’ve put them in a box and hidden it in your sock drawer, safely
after you’ve moved
(on, out, over, under, past)
the people you love become ghosts inside of you
and like this you keep them alive
The past didn’t have status updates
The past didn’t have chance encounters with @thatonepersonyouonce
Which, with a click
Can take you to
“oh man it’s so awesome that…
“I get to…
“all I want is…
“shit shit shit shit sad think shit.”
With datestamps leaving you to imagine
where they were and why.
The past only had ghosts that were dead,
They couldn’t move on and out
They stayed where they were put
They were things to visit, things that could be left
Your ghost is different.
Your ghost smiles out from a picture frozen in time
next to new developments
“… started working (here).”
“… moved (there).”
“… is now in a relationship with-”
You are smiling at me.
You’re looking down and to the right to see
If the ferry is coming to the island any time soon
Your bowtie is tight and neat because you’ve just adjusted it when you got up and fixed
Your shirt, which had become crumpled from lying on the hillside in the sun that lit up
Our sky so brightly on that summer day.
You are smiling, glancing at the camera
After I made you laugh by asking a question
“What do you want to do tomorrow?”
“We haven’t even finished today!”
Your smile has been the weirdest thing
Because it’s still mine.
Because you have met so many new people
New friends, new teachers, new loves
And every single one of them has seen you and
You are smiling